Setting 'The Self' Free

As my mind thinks and wonders I am left with a sensitive topic to think about. I think about human nature - human beings. Human nature refers to the distinguishing characteristics - including ways of thinking, feeling, and acting - which humans tend to have naturally, by the influence of culture. How we, as humans are so forceful and so fragile all at the same time. 

Speaking personally, I’m the type of person that’s organised and has a slight obsession over being settled - in anything, and that what I do, I do it the good way, or none at all.  

However, lately after a lengthy thinking session I’ve had, I found it’s healthy to give your mind’s routine a break for once, and just set it free. Let everything go. Set your mind free and just enjoy. Just do anything that’ll make you smirk  when you remember or think about it. This could be anything: It could be simply changing your attire style from your usual to something more adventurous. It could be doing something you never thought you'd do. This ultimately  means that you’re doing something out of your comfort zone or exceeding some limit your mind decided to set. This process is called setting 'the self' free. I've come to realise that there's a very fine line between self-love and self-destruction. 

I’m no expert, or rather - the opposite of an expert - I believe that when you actually experience your slightly different self, you could either fall in love with your new self, hate this new self, or else be happy it happened or go back to your normal routine.
Of course, I am only speaking on my behalf and on my type of self... This means that what I'm saying isn't applicable to everyone such as the 'happy-go-lucky' type of mindset. 

Until my next muse. 

Are Women Perceived as Sex Objects?

Open a magazine, switch on the television, surf the Internet, or simply walk down the street, and you will see it.... the sexual objectification of women. 

Open a magazine and turn to an advertisement picturing a girl, with very little clothing on, advertising perfume. Turn on the television and see women advertising everything. Why can't men advertise a household cleaning product? And why is it that a half-naked woman has to advertise a mattress, don't men sleep as well? And please bear with me on this one, how many times were you walking down the street and a man in his car looked at you from head to toe, shouting 'sexyyy' or 'lillyy', as if he has never seen a lady before? Countless times. These are all everyday examples of women being seen as sex objects, and they include just a few. 

Other than that, judgemental people happen to be everywhere, in every corner. A woman, or a young lady, who is too thin is called ‘anorexic’, while a woman who has just gained weight because she is going through a bad phase, is called ‘fat’. A girl who has acne, and is trying to cure it, is called ‘ugly’. Judgemental people make other people feel alone and different, they lower their self esteem and make them feel unconfident.

Why judge one another when we are all the same? It won't make you better than anyone else.

Really and truly, facing times like these makes one realise who one’s true friends are. The ones who stick by your side no matter what, and try to raise your self esteem, make you feel beautiful from the inside as well as the outside. As factslides.com states, only 2% of women describe themselves as beautiful. Shame, no? Everybody is beautiful in their own way and everybody should have the right to feel so, without anyone else judging.

So, for all the men reading this, next time you see a lady passing by, appreciate the fact that she is different to you. And for all the women reading this, be proud of yourself, your body is yours and only you have control over it. To look sexy there is no need to be half-naked. Appreciate how God made you, and remember that you are beautiful, no matter what other's say, no matter what colour or nationality you are. You are YOU, and nobody has control over that.

See the positive

Sometimes you go through a phase in life which can’t be explained verbally, only emotionally. Be it complications or obstacles, there would be no existing words for what you’re feeling.

But there’s one thing I know about life, it is never plain sailing. Other than that it could be that you don’t have any problems associated within you, but within the ones closest to you. Truly, some humans create problems for anything.

Sometimes people are so complicated that when you try to help them they backfire at you due to their nervous system, caused by the stress of their problem itself. They wouldn’t appreciate anything you’ve done for them, they’d forget that others have feelings too, they would misinterpret you and it’s not their fault, It is only their nervous system acting. But you should never leave anyone at that state, not even a dog, never mind someone so close to you.
You should always give them a hint of positivity and rest assure them that this is only a phase, and that it will get better. After the problems are solved, they will appreciate you even more.

At a certain point in life, everybody will go through this phase, and everyone will need at least that one person that supports them all the way.  During that phase, us human beings tend to think negatively all the way, that is why we backfire at people which try to help us. But really- is everything bad and negative in your life? No! There are so many beautiful things in our lives which we tend take for granted. For example be it your health, and your family. 

Next time you find yourself stuck during a bad period in your life, remember to see the good, apply positive thinking and strive to give your best effort. Think of failure as an opportunity and start analyzing what went wrong. You will overcome your immediate problems and realize that you’re ready for greater challenges. After all, you know what? After thunder and lightning, the sun shines for everybody.  

You're going to go through tough times- that's life. But I say, 'Nothing happens TO you, it happens FOR you.' See the positive in negative events.     - Joel Osteen

Did you learn enough?

Since secondary school, you probably did not use half of what you were exerted to study... like algebra, as an example. To be 100% clear, I’m not stating that all knowledge isn’t power, because the more you learn the better. It is not about the schooling system and the curriculum but its about life lessons nobody ever taught you. 

Below are 6 Important things one learns by time. 

1. Learn to be Independent  

2. Learn that life’s not a race, but it’s a marathon

Failures are the stepping stones to success. Without failure, one will never fully understand the power of success. After all, what you are doing is 100 percent for yourself and nobody else.

3. Learn that less is more 

Another thing I learnt outside school grounds is that less is more. When you understand the true beauty of happiness, you conclude that the little things leave the most impact on you. Having a lower quantity allows more time to focus on quality. 

4. Learn that friends aren’t everything

You learn that friends aren’t important as you thought they were as everyone changes by time and leaves to different directions where you find out that you can always make new ones. Life teaches us that with friends or without, we remain who we are and our friends don’t make us, but we make ourselves.

5. Learn to empathise 

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Too often we judge people without even knowing their name. One must try to understand them, put one’s self in their shoes before concluding assumptions. Life becomes much better if you learn this art.

6. Learn to learn more! 

One has to accept that just because he/she has a degree or masters in a particular subject, learning is never enough! As human beings, we are continuously learning and that is why one can never say 'I’ve learnt enough' and 'I know everything' as there is so much more one can discover and learn. 

Until next time, 

Tamika

What's your purpose in life?

Hello once again!

I used 45 minutes of last week asking myself what I want to improve in my life and what is my true purpose in life. The best way to do this exercise is to clear your mind, get a piece of paper and a pencil, and write whatever comes to your mind. Ask yourself what can I do to be a better version of myself?  It may seem utterly stupid but at the end it will make perfect sense if you take it seriously. Everybody’s answers will be different from one another since each one of us has a different character and goal. 

For example a few of my points/answers were :

• to think before I speak
  
• to awaken the happy spirit within others
• to forgive
  
• to make life worth living
  
• to set priorities
  
• to be fearless and courageous
  
• to appreciate more
  
• to enjoy the little things

If you’re a cynical person, then feel free to start with the answer, ‘I don’t have a purpose,’ or ‘Life's meaningless,’ and take it from there. If you keep at it, you’ll still eventually assemble a long list as you will realize there is so much you can do to improve your life.  You can list whatever answer pops into your head. While writing, you will notice that some answers will make more sense than the others so highlight them, as each piece reflects your purpose. You will know when you are ready as you will keep on repeating the same answers you've highlighted. When you find your own unique answer to the question of why you’re here, you will feel it echo within you. Obviously, this exercise will not work if you quit it before you’ve even cleared your mind.

Discovering your purpose is the easy part. The hard part is keeping it on a daily basis and working on yourself until you’ve reached your goals.

Read more »

An exceptional girl I met

Last October I got into college, and as you might imagine I got to know new people. Different stereotypes, new faces, different styles and different characters. First week of college is the best yet the most confusing one. You wouldn't know all the students in each class you have, and you get to know them just by sharing some thoughts about how strange the lecturer is. Probably you get to know their name, where they’re from and what time they woke up to arrive at college on time.

One thing I learnt was to always remember that everybody has a story… everyone has been through or going through something which was difficult to go through; maybe it was losing a family member or a friend, fighting sickness, being a victim of domestic violence and many other stories. I sometimes wonder if I’m the only one who faces problems in my life, just because everyone around me seems so happy smiling. However, just because their faces are covered in wonderful and beautiful smiles does not necessarily mean they haven’t been through or going through anything rough.

I met an exceptional girl at the beginning of the Semester before a lecture we had together. She is always smiling. I never saw her with different facial expression in these two months I’ve been seeing her every day during English Classes, and always wondered and thought about her bubbly and sweet character. Until I added her as a friend on Facebook and was looking through her photo albums and saw a picture of younger her. I was reading the description of the photo and I couldn't believe it.

" 'Surviving cancer is not the end of an extremely unpleasant story. It is the beginning of a beautiful one.’ Thing is, I can truly look back at myself and realize how happy I was, even though I was weak I smiled daily and even though I was little I fought hard to survive.”    She wrote. It shook me, and I was confused at the fact that she is always smiling despite what she went through. She also stated that no matter how big the struggle is, if you fight it, you will get through it. The next day I had a chat with her at school, and I was stunned with her cancer survival story.

When she was just a baby she was diagnosed with cancer, Stage 4 Neuroblastoma. She had proptosis in her right eye and a large mass originating from her left adrenal gland. She stayed in hospital and started chemotherapy immediately.
After 6 months of aggressive chemo she flied to St. Georges Hospital in London together with her family where she underwent surgery to remove the tumor. The surgery went through well and she was back to Malta after a month. She was a hospital patient for another month in Malta for severe observations.  She flew to Royal Marsden Hospital in Sutton for her last treatment of high dose chemotherapy.
She was back to Malta after two months, and after 10 months she was healthy and cancer free. She attended follow-ups for several years but now she is completely cancer free and grown into a beautiful and surely exceptional young lady.

It’s extremely difficult for a young child to survive through a cancer that aggressive, so she must be considered as a very lucky girl. She thanks all the people who helped her family and herself both financially and emotionally, as times like those bring the need for support and encouragement which she surely got from family and friends.  

How to be amazingly Happy

'You only get one life, so might as well live it happily' 

1. Love Yourself

To love yourself is the most important rule of all. If you don't even love yourself, who will? You are beautiful no matter what colour, size, nationality or race. Don't you ever let any body let you down. Keep your head high. Everybody has got flaws or weak points but also, everybody has his beautiful aspects. Learn to love yourself in the simplest ways.. Dare to be different, discover new styles and choose which one suits you best.

2. Appreciate the little things and Expect less

Appreciate a 'thank you' from somebody you've done good to, or you might say it yourself. Appreciate all the sacrifices that your guardians have done for you to be where you are today. Don't take anyone or anything for granted because you will regret it later.
Expect less because as you might know, high expectations lead to huge disappointments which cause unhappiness. 

3. Say what you have to say prudently and Forgive

If there is something which is worrying you or stressing you out, talk about it to somebody you know you can trust. Speaking out is much better than keeping everything to yourself and eventually exploding with so many mixed feelings.
Forgiveness is an act of strength. Deep down inside you know that you should let go and how to to let go of it all in order to be peaceful and happy. Allow yourself to receive this gift, because forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, first and foremost. The moment you tell yourself: I had enough, that will be the moment you will actually understand why forgiveness is power and why you are the first one to benefit from it. 

4. Listen and Read

Listen to people's stories, because some time or another in your life, you might have to face that same experience or difficulty. Not only that but also the fact that you can learn so much from the people around you.
Keep yourself updated to whats going on around you so you could involve yourself more in conversations. If you don't like reading books, read blogs or online news, because it gives you so much more than just language skills.

5. Be Optimistic

Being optimistic is always good. Being pessimistic - that is, always assuming the worst - can have major negative consequences on your life. Seeing only the negative aspects of any situation could lead you to miss opportunities and refuse to improve your relationships and quality of life. Optimists look for the light at the end of the tunnel. It is possible to start seeing the glass as half full, not half empty. – Same glass, same level of liquid but different thinking is what it’s all about.

Morning Rush

Have you ever thought about teleporting? Thats what I wish existed every day at 6am in the morning. I always think about teleporting to school without the stress of waking up early to catch two buses so maybe, I arrive on time for my 8am lecture. I would want to throw my alarm from storeys high.. joking, just from my bed to the floor because that's the highest I can get. After I put on the timer for two minutes for probably more than five times, I rush to the bathroom after realising it's twenty minutes past six. I do my usuals, and run back in the morning chill to my bedroom.

Then I face another problem. What to wear? Sometimes I wish I could go to school in my PJ's but I'd look lame (although I think some students do come to school as if they just fell from their bed). So I try to choose which outfit I should wear as quick as possible knowing that I'm so late. I put on my trousers or a pair of tights, and a plain top or a morning dress, and wear a patterned scarf, a nice watch and a ring as accessories. I put on a pair of pop socks, and brown pumps to do with my usual brown handbag. And there it goes, my outfit's ready.

After fifteen to twenty minutes choosing what to wear and actually wearing something, I have to do my usual makeup which is very basic, some cover up foundation, blusher and mascara. When I've got two spare minutes I spend them trying to apply some precise eyeliner. Doing some make up and actually looking good are just part of me and my character. Hair is also an accesory so I usually just put my hair back with bobby pins or sometimes put it up in a bun. Always remember, wake up, show up, and never arrive ugly!  

It's 6.50am now. And finally I'm ready. All I've got to do now is put all my school needs in my handbag and sprint it to the bus stop. While thanking God, I catch the 7am bus! May you have a good day of school or work!

Hello there!

As you might have noticed, either from my blog's title or because you are my friend, My name is Tamika. Some have a difficulty pronouncing it, so call me whatever takes your fancy ! This is what I do during my free time.

What to find here.

Here you shall find blog posts about life, and whatever comes with it. You will also find blog posts about Do It Yourself activities.

Here’s a little about me!

I’m a Junior College student, studying English and Maltese A’levels so hopefully I will study law at University of Malta. I love writing because words can explain what you are feeling exactly. I love fashion, photos, and makeup. Style defines me and my character. I also love music, it helps me through the tough times, and make my fun times even better. 

I'm not perfect, but who is? I have a simple life, sometimes hard. But I have learnt a lot from my mistakes.
Most circumsances in life which taught me are those that have made me realise that I’ve been walked on, used and forgotten. By that I’ve learned who I can trust and can’t. I've learned the meaning of friendship. I’ve learned how to tell when people are lying and when they’re sincere. I’ve been to hell and back a few times, and I won’t ever take what I have for granted. This is life, and I live it one day at a time because you never know how many days you've got left. Always be yourself, people will love you for who you are not for what you are faking.

My favorite word in the dictionary is the word ’ balance ‘. In life you have to balance out everything, from the least thing to the biggest thing. We are all able to do that, sometimes it is hard but without balance you will loose a lot of things.

Remember that things happen for a reason and if it was meant to be it wouldn't have ended… we should not cry cause it’s gone… we should be happy that it happened. Many people touch our lives in different ways.. some come for a while, others stay for a season and show us their magnificent essence for a purpose and then leave…and then there's the people that stay forever, which ultimately are the ones that count.

I think that every person should have the right to love and be loved in return as its the greatest thing you’ll ever know and learn. No one should ever have to leave this life without knowing what being loved is all about, as it is the most beautiful feeling on earth. 

I really hope you will enjoy my blog :)
Tamika